Cold email works if you stop trying to sell

They’re brazen, intrusive and widely disliked, so why are we still sending cold emails to unsuspecting recipients? It’s commonly accepted that cold outreach should be avoided like a half-eaten hot dog in a parking lot. And yet it persists.

With the right framing — and real respect for the recipient’s time — cold email can still be effective. The margin for error is thin, though. Poor execution can damage brand perception and strain relationships with future customers before they even begin.

Think of it this way: Introducing yourself and networking with strangers is one of the first skills you learn in the professional world. Cold email is the digital equivalent. It can expand your reach and help you connect with potential leads you’ve never met. But how you do it makes all the difference.

When cold becomes spammy

First, it’s important to distinguish between cold email and the kind of spam no one wants clogging their inbox. The former aims to make a genuine connection and demonstrate clear value. The latter is a desperate Hail Mary, sent in the hope that someone — anyone — responds.

Spam relies on a quantity-over-quality approach. The goal is simple: send as many messages as possible, regardless of relevance or, worse, whether recipients ever agreed to hear from you.

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Cold email, by contrast, is targeted outreach that complies with privacy laws and focuses on recipients who are likely to find value in your product or service. These messages are intentional and considered and, when done well, can be an effective way to generate leads.

In short, spam destroys deliverability and erodes brand trust. Cold email can drive growth — if it’s approached the right way. Here’s how.

Step 1: 41 characters or less

The subject line is the first thing a recipient sees, which means every character matters. To complicate things further, email service providers scan subject lines for signals of spam, so it’s best to avoid ALL CAPS and exaggerated language.

With a single, short line, you need to establish three things:

• You’re a real person.
• The email is intended specifically for the recipient.
• The message is worth opening.

Writing a subject line that accomplishes all three is difficult, but not impossible. The key is one simple word: research. The clearest way to show you’re serious about reaching out is to demonstrate that you’ve done your homework —

• What the recipient is working on.
• Where they came from.
• The common pain points in their industry that you can help address.

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Once you’ve identified a relevant entry point, use it to establish rapport. It can be as simple as “Your LinkedIn post got me thinking” or “Are you still struggling with XYZ?” Both signal that a real person is reaching out about something the recipient cares about. These are generic examples, but with enough background, you can craft a subject line that stands out.

Here’s one example that prompted an immediate response. An independent film producer wanted to contact a well-known casting director in Los Angeles. Aware that casting directors receive thousands of emails from aspiring actors every day, the producer used just three words in the subject line: “NOT an actor!” The casting director laughed — and replied immediately.

The takeaway: Insight paired with a human touch can open almost any door. Once the recipient opens your email, the next step is making it worth their time.

Step 2: Sorry to bother you

One way to signal respect for the recipient’s time and position is to acknowledge that you’re sending a cold email. An apology makes it clear you’re making an exception to reach this person.

We’re more likely to forgive a faux pas when someone names it upfront. Doing so shows self-awareness and introduces a subtle sense of urgency.

• “My apologies for this unannounced email, but I had to reach out and thank you for sharing that link on XYZ.”

The message is simple: “I know this isn’t ideal, but I couldn’t resist reaching out.” Few people take offense to that kind of introduction.

Dig deeper: Navigating new spam policies: A guide to effective cold email outreach

If an apology doesn’t feel right, you can skip it and lead with the first “why” of your email, such as “I had to reach out and thank you for sharing that link on XYZ.”

This first “why” is not a sales pitch. It’s the reason you’d be a valuable person to know. This is where research matters. If you share an interest, reference it in a way that feels natural rather than forced. Compare these two openers:

• “I also play golf, so we should definitely talk business.”
• “Your article helped me get my ROI out of a sand trap.”

Both reference a shared interest, but one is far more subtle. Only you will know what resonates with the recipient, assuming you’ve done your due diligence. The goal is to establish a real connection as quickly as possible.

Step 3: Keep it short

Once you’ve established a point of connection, the last thing you want to do is overstay your welcome. Think of a cold email like an elevator conversation with the CEO — you step in, make your point quickly, then step out.

Get to the point immediately. The recipient, like you, has competing priorities and is far more likely to respond to something concise and direct.

Step 4: Don’t sell anything

This is often the hardest part. The purpose of the email is to do business, right? Not yet. The purpose of the first email is to start a conversation. Until you secure a call or an in-person meeting, you have one objective: establish trust.

It may take two or three replies before it’s appropriate to mention your offering. It won’t happen in the first message. There’s a reason meetings begin with small talk — we want to understand who we’re dealing with.

When and how you introduce the second why depends entirely on the exchange. As a general rule, the recipient will signal when they’re ready to talk business. Turning a cold email into a real opportunity takes patience and genuine interest.

Get it right and you may eventually hear, “So when can we book that call?” Ding!

Dig deeper: A new tech stack for cold email outreach is taking shape

Cold email is really a trust exercise

There are countless ways to write a cold email, but success comes down to mindset. Human connection creates business opportunity. In a world filled with automation, AI and spam, the value of real conversation has increased. If you can hold a thoughtful exchange with a stranger, you’ve already won half the battle.